


Guilty

by WhatCouldBeMoreAmazing



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Gen, M/M, Poptarts, hell dream, idek what this is but it's here now, sad gay Connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-13 00:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11748168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatCouldBeMoreAmazing/pseuds/WhatCouldBeMoreAmazing
Summary: Connor wakes up from a hell dream only to find that Poptarts had just had one too.





	Guilty

"You have to choose, Connor"  
Connor's eyes frantically moved from one side of the room to the other, his heart lodged in his throat, choking him. On one side of him his parents and sister were being held at gunpoint, and they were spitting and screaming at him, their voices hysterical with anger and fear.  
"ITS ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU BETRAYED US AND CHOSE THEM. YOU'VE KILLED US, CONNOR. DOOMED US. YOU'RE NOT ONE OF US ANYMORE."  
Tears blurred Connor's vision as he stumbled towards his family, his voice cracking and his feet dragging behind him with the effort.  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I'll get you out, I promise! I-I choose you!"  
"Have you forgotten us, Connor?"  
As if held back by an unseen force, Connor stopped in his tracks and began to turn back towards the new voice, dread and excitement rising in him at once.  
Across the room stood three more people, smiling seductively as if they didn't all have knives pressed close to their throats. The first Connor has expected; Steve blade took centre stage, his floppy blonde hair almost covering his usually innocent eyes, which now had a certain glint in them that both excited and terrified Connor.  
The second was new - but not surprising. Connor didn't even know his name. He only knew that when he'd knocked on his door to talk to him about the Book of Mormon, he had been rendered speechless by the man. He had only been wearing a towel, and his muscles rippled beneath flawless skin, which only looked better in hell. Connor hadn't managed to choke out a single word to him, and instead opted to back away as fast as possible.  
But the third was the worst. Connor closed his eyes in denial and despair when he saw who it was. Oh sure, the other elders had featured in his dreams before once or twice, but Elder Price had been in every single one since he'd arrived a week ago. Even in Hell he stood tall and confident, biting his lip ever so slightly, his dark eyes burning into Connor's mind.  
"Choose."  
Lucifer's cold voice rang out through the room and Connor began to shake uncontrollably. With one last, longing glance back at the three men behind him, Connor continued to hurry towards his family, a new determination filling him.  
That is, until a dozen icy cold hands grabbed Connor and began to drag him back away from his family. He screamed helplessly as desperation filled him, but another had clamped itself firmly over his mouth as they got closer and closer to the people in the other side of the room.  
"It's too late Connor, I know what you really want, everyone does. You've chosen them and you can't change your mind."  
As Connor's head was forced in the direction of Steve, Elder Price and the villager, nine gunshots rang out behind him.  
Connor's eyes snapped open and he gasped for air, gripping his sheets in fear. His hair cling to his forehead, dripping with sweat, and his eyes filled with tears. Eventually, he managed to take a deep breath, his hands shaking and his heart pounding. Not wanting to wake up Poptarts he stifled a sob. That had been the worst dream in a week.  
Suddenly desperate for a glass of water, he swung his legs out of the bed, waiting until they'd stopped trembling enough for him to walk. He was about to stand up when something made him freeze where he was.  
Did he hear... crying?  
At first he thought he was imagining it - oh gosh, was he still dreaming? - but as he listened closer he realised that the choked sobs and quiet sniffles were coming from a heap of blankets on Elder Thomas' bed.  
"Umm... Elder Thomas? Poptarts? Are you alright?"  
The crying stopped immediately and silence sank in, until Elder Thomas sat up, his shoulders shaking and his head turned away from Connor.  
"I'm sorry Elder McKinley, I just... I had a dream, about - well, it doesn't matter, but it got to me. I'm okay now, I promise!"  
With that Poptarts plastered an enormous grin on his face, desperate to show that he'd 'turned it off', but it couldn't quite overshadow his red eyes, rubbed raw and glistening from all the tears, and the ever so slight quiver of his bottom lip.  
Suddenly overcome by sympathy and a protectiveness that comes with being district leader - but also a friend - Connor enveloped his mission companion in the warmest hug he could muster.  
"It's okay Elder. I promise it's okay. Whatever it was, whatever the dream blames you for, I promise it's not your fault. It's just a dream." Connor couldn't help but wish he could take his own advice.  
After a second of shock Elder Thomas sunk into Connor's gentle, comforting arms, grateful that somebody cared and - despite his efforts - the tears started falling again, soaking Connor's shoulder.  
"It- it was my sister, they had my sister, and it was because I wasn't there when she-" he was cut off but another sob and Connor pulled him in even tighter.  
"Hey, hey, it's okay, you're safe here, nothing's gonna hurt you, I promise. Look around you. There's the beds, and the window, and the closet, and me. You're not dreaming anymore - your awake and you're gonna be fine. I'm here."  
Connor murmured words of comfort to Poptarts as he rocked him gently back and forth. It hurt him so much to see one of the elders he was supposed to be in charge of and protects so distressed. He'd always been the youngest sibling - with seven sisters before him - but he felt the love and responsibility of an older brother around the other elders. In that moment, as Poptarts began to take long, shuddering breaths and the tears began to dry, Connor silently prayed that any hell dreams meant for the other elders would be given to him instead - the only one who deserved them.  
With one last deep breath Poptarts sat up and looked at Connor, concern in his eyes.  
"Why were you awake? Did you have a dream too?"  
Connor hesitated, the truth dangling from the top of his tongue. But he held it back. He couldn't concern Poptarts with his problems, not when they were entirely his own fault.  
Turn it off.  
"Nope just needed a glass of water. Hey, do you want to go get a poptart?"

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is but hey it's cute I guess  
> Fun fact: I was just in New York and I saw Great Comet and catcf and they were both amazing! Christian was incredible like seriously that man cannot be human he's too perfect


End file.
